1-30-2013 My Mom

In October I went to visit Mom........dad bought Mom a puppy. JJ...a medium sized terrier. He jumped a lot and when mom and I were walking out to the driveway go to a dog training workshop on a Saturday, JJ wrapped himself around moms feet, she was walking with her oxygen tank and the dog together, and down she went and ended up fracturing her pelvis...(but that was diagnosed later). She started hurting in November and went to get an x-ray due to pain...when the x-ray tech moved her leg to get the x-ray, she did something that hurt mom terribly...she couldn't walk without a walker after that...but the hospital sent her home anyway. A couple of days after Thanksgiving, mom was taken to Renown hospital because she couldn't walk at all. The pain was intense and dad couldn't do anything. She was there for a few days and then transferred to Rehab to learn to walk again. Dec 6th I arrived to take care of Mom... She wasn't in great shape. She was using a wheel chair mostly and a walker a little, she was frail, her thoughts were somewhat scattered, and she had lost weight. She's only 5'1" and so losing a few pounds is like losing 20# to some. She was 110 in October and now she was 95#. Skin and bones. She hadn't been eating. While in the hospital, she, Donnie and dad decided that an apartment on the end of the garage would be a good idea, warm, cheaper than assisted care, and a 1 story place for mom to live, so Donnie began building. Mom and I moved into a hotel. During that stay in the hotel I became "The General". I made her do things she said she said she couldn't do. Like, walk on her own, do her own meds, drive, eat well and do her banking. Our talks were so positive and she started believing in herself and that she could be strong again. So, at the end of a month she WAS strong and able to take care of herself. We both were so elated!! But when it came time to move out of the hotel, the apartment wasn't finished and we had to move back into the house. She was disappointed but there wasn't any place else to go that didn't cost an arm and a leg. But we made the best of it. I had been away from home for 6 weeks by this time and planned on returning to my hubby the 16th of January. Before I left Mom was very positive, doing her laundry, cooking her meals, sorting her clothing, sleeping well, going to her Dr. appointments, driving and visiting family. Granted it was slow moving but she could do it. I truly wanted to bring her home with me, but she said "no, my Dr.'s are here". I should have insisted. We could have found great Dr.'s here in MN. So, on the 16th I left her and came home. I cried at the airport and I cried on the plane. I talked to her every day as I had for the last 40 years. Sometimes 3-6 times a day. We laughed, joked and planned my next visit out in March.... Two weeks to the day later, she was gone. January 30th at 2:10am Mom passed away. I talked to her that afternoon, she was tired, but we laughed and talked for a while. I can't describe the emptiness I feel. Like I don't have my right arm. I feel lost. I miss her laugh and her smile. I wander around the house aimlessly. I think of something or see something on TV or in a book and pick up the phone to tell her about it or ask her opinion, but then I remember I can't call to hear her voice any more. I can't ask her questions or discuss the worlds troubles and how to fix them. I think of her and our times together every day. I loved spending time with her. Now, she can have peace, happiness, being with Nana, Papa, Ricky and Our Lord. I miss Mom...so very much. I love you Mom. To pieces...xoxoxoxo RIP Taken 1-5-2013